May 28th…

Wings, huh?  If I had wings… Something in my dreams has been calling to me… And I think it means to tell me to fly.  I’ve worked through the lulls of sleep, studied under sleep deprivation, eaten with sleep asking for a taste of my food.  And I can only keep working harder, or I’ll surely sink and fade away.  So, yes, wings, wings sound like a perfect remedy.  But that just appears to be insanity finally winning out. Doesn’t it?  I mean, wings?  Really? Insanity has been creeping in corners, through the holes fear and doubt left behind each time I scared them away.  Insanity has pushed me to believe I will only miss them less once I’m back with them.  That the pangs of longing for my family will only subside once I’m near to them.  And that I’ll only know how Elian feels once we are neighbors, yet again.  But, this is how I know insanity is a liar: I won’t be able to fly if I go home, so it’s not insanity telling me to spread my wings.

There’s something else pulling me.  Tugging me forward.  Oh, and I found another one of those feathers in my bed this morning.  When I reached to turn on the light, yet again, it was gone.  No, this is not insanity.  This is desperation for action.

My heart still bleeds… I know what I must do to stop it… I’ve gotten almost enough money to make my goal something more than a lofty wish.  I think insanity has no place in my dreams.  So I must wake up…

~Anaïs Faythor